One of my spiritual gifts is discernment, and I’ve learned over the years that it plays directly into how I read people. First impressions matter to me—not in a shallow way, but in a data-gathering way. Body language. Eye contact. Tone. Presence. Even a handshake.
I like handshakes. They tell you things. Not everything, but something. A good handshake isn’t always bona fide, but a bad one almost always is. I once met a new boss for the first time through a handshake: limp grip, eye contact down and to the right, already disengaged. Uncertain. Passive. Disinterested. I gave him the benefit of the doubt—but in time, he turned out to be exactly what that first moment suggested.
I’ve had similar experiences in more personal spaces. I met Daryl’s first husband at their wedding—long before I ever imagined she’d be my wife. When he shook my hand, I had the unmistakable sense that he was looking through me, already scanning the room for someone else he wanted to talk to. Polite words, absent presence. I’d met a hundred guys like that before. Decades later, that impression hasn’t changed.
I don’t hate him. But I don’t trust what he says to my face, either.
So yes, I do think I’m a good judge of character. Not because I’m infallible—but because I pay attention. I notice patterns. I trust what I see while still allowing time to confirm or contradict it. And I always reserve the right to be wrong.
Discernment doesn’t mean locking people into a verdict. It means holding an honest first impression loosely—and being willing to revise it when truth demands it.
Copyright © 2025 Doug DeBolt.
