11:55 p.m.

That’s it! All 65 Super Bowl ads, reviewed neatly for your convenience. (Ad Meter only listed 64 but for some reason did not include the trailer for New Republic’s “Ambulance.” No great loss there.) Check back soon, as I’ll compile these results into my Top Ten and Bottom Whatever. Thanks for reading – I ‘ll see you again here soon!

11:50 p.m.

Sam’s Club – “Sam’s Club VIP”

Kevin Hart is advertising gold, and if this ad is true, he’s full of himself. Apparently, he thinks Sam’s Club’s Scan & Go service is only for “real” VIPs like him and not for the average person. The ad is clever and it’s a nice entry for Sam’s Club’s first Super Bowl foray. (And if you haven’t tried the Scan & Go feature, it’s pretty cool.) Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 9.

Greenlight – “I’ll Take It”

Lord, I hope that Ty Burrell isn’t as terrible with his money as this ad indicates. Throughout the ad, he’s willing to buy everything in sight – at least until he runs out of money. The ad is funny, and it definitely reminds consumers that Greenlight is a great app for parents who want to teach their children how to manage their money. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 9.

HBOMax – “Winning Time”

This spot was completely unexpected, and I’m definitely interested in watching HBOMax’s “Winning Time” about the rise of the Los Angeles Lakers dynasty. It looks great, but our Super Bowl advertising journey ends with yet another movie trailer. Unless the Lakers are shooting lasers or fighting aliens, it will never be entertaining enough to capture the attention of the average viewer. Grade: A-. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

11:40 p.m.

Hellmann’s – “Tackles Food Waste”

Those who remember Reebok’s Terry Tate will appreciate this ad most of all. This time it’s retired NFL linebacker Jerod Mayo (real name) putting his tackling skills to work, punishing people who are engaging in food waste. The message we’re supposed to get (I think) is that we should use Hellmann’s mayonnaise to transform our wasted food into tasty leftovers. It’s not as good as its Reebok predecessor, but it’s entertaining nonetheless.  Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 9.

Budweiser – “Clydesdale’s Journey”

For years, Budweiser has milked the Clydesdale and dog formula for Super Bowl ad greatness, and why not? It’s a winning combination that can’t fail, right? Uh, well, until now. The emotional connection that Budweiser has tapped in years past is sorely lacking in this spot, which tracks the recovery of an injured horse. The dog is mainly there to try and hearken the greatness of past ads, but it can hearken all it wants. For the first time I can remember, a Budweiser Clydesdale ad will be nowhere near the top of the Ad Meter. Grade: B+. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

11:36 p.m.

Nissan – “Thrill Driver”

Eugene Levy as an action star? That’s what Nissan’s Super Bowl entry envisions. Initially, Levy balks at the idea of driving a Nissan Z when first offered by Brie Larson. But after a few minutes behind the wheel, his inner action star emerges and impresses even strongman Dave Bautista. Danai Gurira and Catherine O’Hara also make an appearance in this commercial, which should finish as one of the day’s best. It was an entertaining ride, and the action-packed spot was a welcome change, especially following that dreary Irish Spring ad. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

Taco Bell – “The Grande Escape”

Remember – celebrity cameos only work if you know who the celebrity is. Taco Bell is clearly aiming at a younger audience by having Doja Cat front their Super Bowl spot. This ad was a bit strange, with Doja Cat starting out as a bored clown who sees something that frees her from her sad state and launches her into a visually appealing world that leads to Taco Bell (while accompanied by her cover of Hole’s “Celebrity Skin”). The connection with the product is sketchy. It will work for younger consumers, but old people (like me) will be less likely to make the connection. Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 8.

11:08 p.m.

Cutwater Spirits – “Here’s to the Lazy Ones”

So, your strategy is to tell me that if I drink your product, then I’m lazy? Great. Set your sights low and aim for the lowest common denominator. And congrats – your ad is destined to finish at the level of your desired customer. Grade: C. Ad Meter Grade: 4.

Vroom – “Flake the Musical”

Another interesting concept that might get people to try out Vroom, but that is ultimately will get lost amidst some ads that are executed much more effectively. On the plus side, I am remembering that it’s better to sell to Vroom than to a customer who flakes out on you. And the musical effort was nice.  Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 7.

AMC+ – “Stream Better With AMC+”

OK, AMC+ has a lot of good shows. But how many of these plus-services am I going to pay for? I guess that people who are desperate for the last season of “Better Call Saul” or for “The Walking Dead” will pony up for the service, but this commercial was just a plug for a bunch of shows.  Grade: B-. Ad Meter Grade: 5.

Irish Spring – “Welcome to Irish Spring”

Irish Spring has never been in the Super Bowl, and now we know why. This ad was downright strange – as though a scent-worshiping cult somehow got lost in Brigadoon. “Bad smells must receive their correction,” and so the unwelcome visitor gets some sort of bath and emerges in some kind of river dance. Beyond strange. Grade: B. Ad Meter Grade: 5.

10:58 p.m.

Amazon – “Mind Reader”

Amazon has had great entries into the Super Bowl ad sweepstakes in recent years, and this year’s “Mind Reader” is continuing that tradition. This time, Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost of “Saturday Night Live” (her real-life husband) have their conversations hijacked by their Amazon Alexa, which tries to anticipate what needs to come next. The results are predictably disastrous, and hilarious. This one may finish on the Ad Meter podium. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

Intuit – “Duality Duets”

Small business owners will attest that the least-favorite aspect of what they do is their books, and this ad capitalizes on that frustration. Business owners are psyched about the fun part of their businesses, which is represented by DJ Khaled’s “All I Do Is Win. (Khaled himself makes a couple of appearances in the ad.) Their winning attitude turns to sadness when a horrifying duet partner kills the vibe. The message? Intuit’s partnership with MailChimp will work for your business. Solid message, and a cute ad. Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 8.

Booking.com – “Idris Elba Says Things”

I’m sure that Booking.com paid a small fortune to get Idris Elba to rep their service, and he definitely tells us about why Booking.com is a good thing. He also tells us why their name is terrible. Remember what I said about being self-deprecating? That only goes so far. Telling us that the name of your business sucks is probably not the best use of your 30 seconds and $6 million. They’ll definitely get some traffic from the spot, but overall it’s extremely forgettable. Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 7.

10:09 p.m.

eToro – “Flying Your Way”

The night’s fourth cryptocurrency ad is confirming the trend – crypto is the night’s big product, and it’s apparently here to stay. Even though the ad is “flying your way,” this is a total bandwagon appeal that is telling you to not miss out on the trend. And yet it works. It’s not the night’s best crypto ad (that was FTX), but it’s decent. Sadly, in the mix of a bunch of crypto ads, it might get lost Grade: B. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

T-Mobile – “HINT”

T-Mobile’s strongest entry of the evening has nothing to do with Dolly Parton or a telethon but is instead a musical reuniting of “Scrubs” castmates Zach Braff and Donald Faison. This is extremely entertaining and tries to convince us to switch our Internet service to T-Mobile’s. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 9.

10:02 p.m.

Amazon Prime Video – “The Rings of Power”

As popular as “The Lord of the Rings” has been, this does look like an interesting series. It’s certain to be a blockbuster for Amazon Prime, and this teaser was entertaining. Still, it’s a movie ad… Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 8.

Lays – “Golden Memories”

Few comic combinations are more recognizable than Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd. Lays milks their chemistry perfectly in this spot, which traces a fictional history between the two as they reminisce about their “golden memories.” The blissful, matrimonial conclusion between Seth and his corpse-bride is a perfect payoff. Lays chips are placed creatively throughout the ad. This should contend for the Ad Meter crown. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

Pringles – “Stuck In”

Sometimes the ethos in an ad doesn’t come from an on-screen celebrity, but from a song. In this case, that song is Lionel Richie’s “Stuck On You,” and it fits perfectly as a very hungry man gets his hand stuck deep inside a Pringles can. So deep, in fact, that he can never get it out, and lives out his days with a Pringles can for a hand. Sure, it’s ridiculous, but isn’t most advertising? The closing tag line, “Get Stuck In” drives the point home these chips are tasty! Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 9.

Bud Light Seltzer Hard Soda – “Loud Flavors”

Sure, Guy Fieri is entertaining when it comes to the Food Network and roadside diners. But for Bud Light Seltzer’s new hard sodas? Not so much. Cast as the mayor of an alternate flavor universe, Fieri is supposedly so impressed by the sodas that he declares them the loudest flavors ever. My friends have had all four flavors and they report that they’re OK, but definitely not loud. As for the commercial, the colors are eye-catching, but the humor mostly misses. Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 7.

Kia – “RoboDog”

Sentiment is always huge in Super Bowl ads, and this commercial hits a very surprising sentimental button – a lost robotic dog. Yes, a robot. But by the end of the ad you don’t care that it’s robotic, but more that it’s a dog. The only question I had was about the car owner recharging the dog using his EV port. Is that even possible? Whatever. My bigger question is, where can I get one of these dogs? Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 8.

General Motors – “Dr. EV-il”

Fans of the Austin Powers movie franchise will go nuts over this commercial, which adds a whole new chapter to the Dr. Evil saga. The humor is exactly what you’d expect from an Austin Powers movie. It’s a bit over the top, and the product tie-in gets a little lost in the shuffle. But the humor is definitely present, and there’s at least a passing chance that you’ll remember GM’s name after the ad is finished. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 9.

9:56 p.m.

Cuehealth – “Meet Cue”

This is an interesting product, and it’s another ad that is guaranteed not to win the Ad Meter, but that will get a lot of looks based on the commercial. My big question was, “Can this device test for anything other than COVID?” Regardless, it was a good entry, even if it was unremarkable.  Grade: A-. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

Planet Fitness – “What’s Gotten Into Lindsay”

Some ads are simply inspired. When you think of train wreck celebrities, Lindsay Lohan usually comes in at the top of the charts. But this celebrity-laden ad begs the question (via narrator William Shatner), “What’s gotten into Lindsay?” After all, she seems sharper and more on top of her game than she’s been in eons. It’s not what’s gotten into her, but what she’s gotten into – Planet Fitness. And if the gym can get messed-up Lindsay pointed in the right direction, think about what it can do for you. This is one of my early picks for an Ad Meter winner. Fans may not love it as much as I do, but it’s worth the love. (And don’t be surprised if this ad kick-starts a career renaissance for Lohan, ala Betty White’s Snickers cameo.) Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

9:47 p.m.

Google – “Seen on Pixel”

Google is getting to the market first with something I think will end up on every smartphone’s camera – a feature that accurately captures all skin tones, and especially darker skin tones. The commercial is aimed primarily at people of color, but it’s likely to get the attention of a lot of consumers who realize that if a camera can avoid overexposing darker skin, then it will be more likely to improve the picture quality for everyone. It’s not flashy, but it works.  Grade: A-. Ad Meter Grade: 7.

9:42 p.m.

Toyota – “The Joneses”

Keeping up with the Joneses has never been so much fun. Leslie Jones and Rashida Jones are known for their comedic chops, but Tommy Lee Jones isn’t known as much of a comedian. Here, he plays straight man to the others, including Nick Jonas, who crashes the Jones party. The trucks are definitely a co-star in this commercial, but their rugged toughness is on full display. Not likely to win the Ad Meter, but it may score in the Top Ten. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

NFL – “Bringing Down the House”

The NFL always brings its A-game in its Super Bowl ad, and this year’s edition is no exception. This two-minute commercial brings a video football game through the screen into the living room, and the result is wonderful mayhem. Even the grandmother gets involved – as do all of us. Congratulations to the presumptive Ad Meter winner. (I’ll be shocked if it’s not on top in the morning.) Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

crypto.com – “Fortune Favors the Brave”

Older Lebron James counsels younger Lebron James, and it has nothing to do with cryptocurrency. Instead, younger Lebron comes away with the assurance that it’s time to make the jump to the NBA. Apparently, calling your own shots means also buying crypto. That part of the message slips through the cracks. Grade: B-. Ad Meter Grade: 5.

Verizon – “Goodbye Cable”

Earlier today, it was T-Mobile’s resurrection of the guys from “Scrubs.” Now,  welcome back, Jim Carrey, whose character from “The Cable Guy” isn’t happy at all that he’s been replaced by Verizon’s wireless Internet. It’s funny and the product features get prime billing. Thumbs up. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 9.

9:09 p.m.

FTX – “Don’t Miss Out”

Self-deprecating humor is always a plus, and Larry David is the master of that. FTX capitalizes on this by having Larry appear throughout history, downplaying the importance everything from the wheel to the Declaration of Independence to space travel. And now he’s saying that cryptocurrency will never make it. The message is clear – don’t follow Larry David’s lead. It’s funny and it’s a contender. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

Amazon Prime Video – “Football Is Open”

This is preemptive advertising by Amazon, which realizes that next season begins as soon as this one ends. Amazon is hoping that viewers will remember to watch games for free using their Prime Video service next fall, and that’s a big gamble given that the average attention span isn’t that long. But this high-energy spot could pay off, especially if Amazon doesn’t forget to remind us about the service several times in the next six to seven months.  Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 7.

8:50 p.m.

Turkish Airlines – “Pangea”

Travel ads usually aren’t much better than movie ads when it comes to being memorable or entertaining. But this Turkish Airlines commercial strikes a sentimental tone that touches the heart and informs us that the airline connects more continents than any other. It’s sweet. Not winning. But sweet. Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 8.

Michelob Ultra Organic Seltzer – “Caddy”

Word to the wise – most people don’t give a flip about the word “organic.” Awesome, my low-carb seltzer is organic. Does it taste good? Awesome. Is it affordable? Great. But that’s the case even without organic. Meanwhile, this super-boring ad connects a bar patron to a golf caddy, who explains why the seltzer is such a great choice. Oh yeah, that’s pro golfer Brooks Koepka talking to the caddy. But you’ll only know that if you Google the ad or follow the PGA closely. Grade: B. Ad Meter Grade: 5.

Salesforce – “The New Frontier”

Matthew McConaughey is generally advertising gold, but he typically reps a product that we understand and relate to. Like a car. Or a tasty snack. This time, it’s Salesforce, and I’m still not sure what that exactly is. It’s a visually appealing ad, but the confusion takes it down a few notches. Grade: A-. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

8:38 p.m.

Gillette – “Gillette Labs With Exfoliating Bar”

Another razor that does amazing things. We’ve never seen that before, right? I’m sure it’s a good razor, but I’ll forget about it before my head hits the pillow. Grade: C+. Ad Meter Grade: 5.

New Republic – “Ambulance”

One more movie, and they’re all blending together in my thinking at this point. If you’re not blowing me away like Jurassic World, you’ll be forgotten ever so quickly. Even if you’re starring Jake Gyllenhall. Grade: B. Ad Meter Grade: 5.

TurboTax – “Matchmaker”

TurboTax never really tries to be more than it is, and their ads are proof of that. There’s some entertainment, a little humor and a celebrity cameo (“Ted Lasso’s” Jason Sudeikis). But the star of this ad are the three TurboTax advisers who are custom-cut to help each individual case. I’m not wowed by the ad, but I’m impressed by how they cleverly integrate their product and services into the commercial.  Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 8.

Wallbox – “Supercharged Seth”

Note to advertisers: 15-second ads are almost always a waste of time and money. I’ve seen this ad more than half a dozen times, and I’m no more happy with it now than the first time I watched it. Every class that watched it felt the same way. The biggest comment was, “Huh?” I’ll be shocked if Wallbox isn’t in last place by the end of the night. (FYI, the full-length commercial on YouTube is infinitely better and explains everything. Wallbox should have anted up another $3 million and gone with 15 more seconds.) Grade: D. Ad Meter Grade: 2.

8:29 p.m.

Michelob Ultra – “Superior Bowl”

Michelob has littered this ad with celebrities, most of who will not be recognized by the average viewer. Sure, football fans will instantly place Peyton Manning at the beginning and Serena Williams at the end, but others – Brooks Koepka (golf), Jimmy Butler (NBA), Nneka Ogwumike (WNBA) and Alex Morgan (NWSL) will seem like they should be familiar even though they aren’t. Actor Steve Buscemi is a recognizable face, but what’s not easily recognizable? Why all of these bowlers are connected to low-carb beer. Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 8.

Chevrolet – “New Generation”

A truck drives through a city, pulls into a station and recharges. That’s it. Yeah, it’s Chevy’s first all-electric truck. And the ad is boring. Nuff said. Grade: C+. Ad Meter Grade: 5. (Note: I get now that this is an overt nod to “The Sopranos.” But if you didn’t watch that show — and I didn’t — you missed that point completely.)

Rocket Mortgage – “Dream House”

Anna Kendrick is likeable enough, but pair her with Barbie? Genius! You had to know that when the commercial started with a plug for a Barbie Dream House that something else was up. Anna Kendrick connected Barbie to Rocket Mortgage’s home buying tools, and the humor drove the whole thing home. Adding in He-Man at the end of the ad was a perfect touch. Move this one at or near the top of the Ad Meter. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

Disney+ – “Has All the GOATS”

Disney’s earlier entry was completely forgettable, but this one was letter-perfect. Awkwafina walks us through the Disney offices to remind us that Disney has the best shows ever – or better yet, the Greatest of All Time. Literally, goats. In costume. If you didn’t already know that Disney had great shows, you’ll never forget after this ad. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

WeatherTech – “WeatherTech Fit Crew”

WeatherTech is another of those companies that tries valiantly every year to impress consumers, but invariably falls extremely short. The things that critics look at must be different from WeatherTech’s expectations and goals, because they keep coming back. This year’s ad is no different. Sure, there’s more action with a military-style crew of folks making sure the floormats fit perfectly. But at the end of the day, they’re still just floormats, and I’m still just unimpressed. Grade: C-. Ad Meter Grade: 4.

T-Mobile – “Miley Do It For the Phones”

The sequel to Dolly’s charity plea for T-Mobile’s 5G service is better, but not even close to great. Her song – no doubt inspired by “We Are the World” – is mildly entertaining, but it’s still strange to see this concept used to lampoon something that was a charitable milestone in American culture. If it was funnier, I might feel differently. The only reason it rates as high as it does is because of the presence of its celebrity endorsements. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 8.

Uber Eats – “Uber Don’t Eats”

When I saw Jennifer Coolidge at the start of this commercial, I really had high hopes. Now, I’m just a bit mystified why this approach was the one they went with. People eating diapers? Drinking dish soap? Eating an oddly scented candle? OK, so you had some celebrities, but you also basically insulted your audience by saying that the people who ordered these products and had Uber deliver them somehow forgot they weren’t edible. Give me 30 minutes and I’ll come up with a better approach using the same idea. The fact that this was the winning ad for Uber proves that the people who make the big bucks aren’t always worth the big bucks. By the end of the night, this ad won’t be the worst of the worst, but it also won’t be even close to as memorable as Uber thought it would be. Grade: A-. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

Caesar’s Sportbooks – “Sit Down Dinner”

There are so many ads tonight that are missing their intended mark, and this is one of them. With the entire Manning family joining JB Smoove and Halle Berry at the dinner table, you’d expect a lot more humor. Instead, you get conversation that falls far short of humor, and no real motivation to go to Caesar’s to place your bets. Grade: B+. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

8:18 p.m.

Universal – “Nope”

Once again, another movie trailer. And this time, the title sums up my feelings about most movie trailers – “Nope!” I really like Jordan Peele, and I’m sure this will be an entertaining movie, but I was mostly confused and left not knowing what to expect. Grade: C+. Ad Meter Grade: 5.

8:14 p.m.

Doritos/Cheetos Flamin’ Hot – “Push It”

While the concept is not 100 percent original (see 1995’s Budweiser frogs ad), it’s a very clever use of a familiar device. When the sloth eats the flamin’ hot Dorito (which I hate, by the way), he gets both a boost of quickness and some cool beatbox vibes. Add in the deer, bear, some water buffalo, a crocodile and a bird and you have the makings of Salt-N-Pepa’s “Push It.” Early contender for the Ad Meter winner. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

Meta Quest – “Old Friends, New Fun”

If you’ve ever enjoyed a performance by the house band at a Chuck E. Cheese, you definitely got this ad. The characters from a defunct pizza place are basically thrown in the trash but somehow find new life – and each other – in the metaverse of virtual reality. It’s heartwarming and fun. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 8.

8:12 p.m.

Holy smokes, I’m behind. Working hard to catch up…

Hologic – “Her Health Is Her Wealth”

Some ads know they won’t be in the Ad Meter running when they enter the game. Hologic’s ad featuring Mary J. Blige will never be accused of being entertaining, but it’s entirely resonant. Women’s health is such an important topic, and this ad features one of today’s halftime performers getting some peace-of-mind from a clean bill of health. Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 8.

Coinbase – “Coinbase Big Game ad”

I just have one question – “Why?” All this commercial featured was a floating QR code – essentially a one-minute screensaver that required viewers to scan it to find out what was on the other side. This isn’t just the worst ad of the night – it’s the worst I’ve rated an ad since I started doing this. Grade: F. Ad Meter Grade: 2.

7:29 p.m.

Netflix – “The Adam Project”

Netflix’s entry is mostly a reminder that the service will have new movies every week, and they’re especially promoting “The Adam Project,” which stars Ryan Reynolds. The movie looks entertaining enough, but it’s like most movie ads. We’ll mainly remember “The Adam Project” when it shows up on Netflix. Grade: A-. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

Polstar – “No Compromises”

Another rule of thumb for Super Bowl ads – commercials that require your viewers to read them to understand the features of your product will almost always miss the mark. Polestar is already at a disadvantage for most people because it’s not a mainstream brand. Forcing us to read subtitles to grasp that you have a great electric car isn’t going to get me leaping out of my seat. Grade: C. Ad Meter Grade: 4.

Avacados From Mexico – “Colosseum Tailgate”

No product has tried harder to impress consumers and failed more consistently at what they were trying to do. GSD&M has replaced BBDO as the creative force behind Avacados from Mexico, but the result is the same. Feeble humor, poor connection with the audience and a forgettable ad. It kind of works, but with the time, energy and money they had to work with, this spot should have been much better. Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 7.

Carvana – “Oversharing Mom”

Cringey is never a winning recipe for any ads, and much less so for Super Bowl ads. This mom’s tendency to overshare was meant to entertain, but for many (including me) it will simply annoy. Honestly, I really lost track of why Carvana was such a big deal because I got caught up in how frustrating the mom was (and how happy I was that she wasn’t my mom). Grade: B. Ad Meter Grade: 5.

7:12 p.m.

E-Trade – “Off the Grid”

The classics are classic for a reason. The E-Trade baby is Super Bowl advertising legend, and the company (now under the auspices of Merrill Lynch) has gone back to that well for another winner. The baby, now living off the grid, is begged back into service and comes back only when he learns that people are taking investment advice from memes. Bravo, E-Trade. Nice to have you back in the big game. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

Expedia – “Stuff”

There are always those ads that you don’t exactly hate, but you don’t exactly like either. This is one of those ads. It’s nice enough, and spokesman Ewan McGregor makes a decent point – the things you buy might not be as memorable as the places you go. But what happens when you can’t remember the ad reminding you to travel to cool places? Grade: A-. Ad Meter Grade: 7.

Bud Light NEXT – “Zero in the Way of Possibility”

I foresee this spot as a love-it-or-hate-it story. Younger viewers may see this as ultra-cool because of the visually eye-popping visuals. Older viewers will likely not get the point and dismiss it completely. But honestly, I don’t see how too many people will make the connection between what they see and why they should be Bud Light’s zero-carb beer. (Most serious beer drinkers will associate zero carbs with zero taste, so I think this product is going to be short-lived.) Grade: C+. Ad Meter Grade: 5.

Draft Kings – “Fortune: Life’s a Gamble”

One of the cardinal rules of Super Bowl advertising? Don’t be confusing. Apparently, this ad is promising more than 10,000 free bets on the big game, including five bets of $1 million. I kind of got that from the ad. Kind of. It was a cute concept, and seeing Broadway Joe Namath was cool, but unless I get the point of the ad, it doesn’t matter. If you weren’t paying close attention to the one-second “Check the app” instruction on-screen, you missed the point. Grade: B+. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

BMW – “Zeus & Hera”

Sometimes you smile immediately when you see a celebrity spokesman on the screen. Enter Arnold Schwarzenegger, who plays the role of Zeus in this ad. He’s matched step for step by Salma Hayek, who helps her husband adjust to retired life on Earth by getting him a BMW electric vehicle. The concept works all the way around, pushing this commercial toward the top of the rankings. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 10.

7:03 p.m.

Disney+ – “Moonknight”

Again, movie adds tend to leave me (and most people) a bit flat. Case in point, “Moonknight.” Yeah, it’s a Marvel property and it will probably be really entertaining. But without any frame of reference, I have no idea about what I’m seeing. When I see it on Disney+, I’ll change my mind. Until then, it’s a forgettable ad. Grade: B+. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

Rakuten – “High Stakes”

Humor only counts if it works. In Rakuten’s case, it doesn’t. I get how Rakuten helped the middle-class mom get all of the same swag as the pretentious trophy wife. But at no time did I laugh or even smile. And I’m an easier sell on humor than most of the Ad Meter voters. Grade: B+. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

6:51 p.m.

The Super Bowl is underway, and already I’m overloaded by a bunch of ads I haven’t seen before. I may add in the first two ads (“Jurassic World” and “YouTube TV”) if it turns out that they’re part of the Ad Meter. Until then…

Toyota – “Brothers”

Toyota’s Super Bowl ads are rarely about the cars and more about the brand. Once again, they don’t talk to us about Corollas or Celicas and instead introduce us to the miraculous story about two brothers who managed to win gold medals despite legal blindness. There’s no way this ad will win the Ad Meter, but it will win your heart. Grade: A. Ad Meter Grade: 7.

Squarespace – “Sally’s Seashells”

I don’t know if Squarespace is aiming at a very young audience, but their use of Zendaya as a spokesperson is definitely having that effect. When I scrolled through the ads to show to my students, every class asked to see this one, and only because of Zendaya. It’s doubtful that most people older than 30 have any clue who she is. That said, the spot works even if you don’t know who she is. It’s cute, mildly funny and it highlights what Squarespace does. Grade: A+. Ad Meter Grade: 9.

T-Mobile – “Dolly PSA”

So, I have a bit of a problem with making T-Mobile’s efforts at a 5G rollout seem like something worthy of a charity telethon. I know that advertisers are looking for unique ways to connect with consumers, but this was just plain odd. It actually took me two or three views before I caught what Dolly Parton was telling us – that these poor cell phones were struggling without 5G. Gotcha. But the whole thing left me completely flat. The only upside was Dolly. Grade: A-. Ad Meter Grade: 6.

5:00  p.m.

Just about 90 minutes until game time. USA Today has 42 ads on their site, not counting the two Skechers ads that were there as of yesterday but are now apparently airing during the pre-game show. We will once again be here live blogging every commercial during the big game. My formula will once again be driving my ratings, and it still taps in heavily to Aristotle’s three modes of persuasion – pathos, ethos and logos.

Great — and even good — commercials should make us relate to our emotions of humor, sadness, joy, anger. That is never more true than in Super Bowl ads, which this year are going for a reported $6 million for a 30-second spot. (That’s about $500,000 more than last year’s total.) What’s amazing about Super Bowl ads is that a really good commercial will suffer by comparison. It can be really good, but not great, and that will cause it to be lost in the shuffle. Nice, touching ads that don’t hit the “home run” will often be forgotten by the end of the game.

I’ve already watched and rated all 42 of the ads that have been revealed thus far, but I’ll save my final judgment for during the game when they actually air. Please note that I’ll be giving each of the ads a letter grade and a USA Today Ad Meter grade. Again, just because a commercial gets an Ad Meter 4 doesn’t mean it’s horrible — it’s just that much below the ads that get an 8, 9 or 10. My letter grades will tend to be high because I grade them like a teacher — perhaps because I actually am a teacher.

As in the past, this year’s ads are again rating fairly well. So far, my average grade is a solid A. USA Today estimates about 63 ads this year, so there are still a lot of good (and maybe bad) commercials waiting to be evaluated. (Once again, we can all be grateful that no political ads this year from either side will be on display!)

Come back frequently, because the updates will take place as often as the ads air. I’ll see you once the game begins. Here’s to a great game, and even better ads!