The most anticipated game of the year is over, and the Los Angeles Rams rallied in the final minutes to edge past the Cincinnati Bengals in Super Bowl LVI, 23-20. All-Universe wide receiver Cooper Kupp was the game’s top player and claimed the MVP award.
Those things include the profitability of the Super Bowl, which rewards its network with boatloads of income generated from its advertising. This year’s tally should edge past last year, as NBC will likely pocket about $265 million from the more than 44 minutes of advertising that ran during the game — and that doesn’t include the pre- and post-game ad revenue.
As for the big game ads, there was the good, the bad and the ugly. Here are my top 10 and bottom 9:
1. NFL– “Bring Down the House.” The league brought a video game into the living room and even into a swimming pool. They teased this constantly leading up to the game, and it was worth the wait.
2. Rocket Mortgage – “Dream House.” Anna Kendrick and Barbie teamed up to inform us about Rocket Mortgage’s usefulness in home buying. It was the evening’s funniest moment.
3. Disney+ – “Has all the GOATS.” Awkwafina’s tour through the Disney+ vault of classic shows — the Greatest of All Time — included an introduction to some actual goats.
4. Nissan – “Thrill Driver.” If you can turn Eugene Levy into an action star, you’ve really done something. Advertising entertainment at its best.
5. Toyota – “The Joneses.” Very clever ad that put three Joneses (Tommy Lee, Leslie and Rashida) behind the wheel of some Tundras, and added a gatecrasher (Nick Jonas).
6. Planet Fitness – “What’s Gotten Into Lindsay.” One of the day’s most pleasant surprises, and hopefully part of Lindsay Lohan’s long-overdue career resurrection.
7. Doritos/Cheetos Flamin’ Hot – “Push It.” Super fun ad during the Super Bowl that got some help from Salt-N-Pepa’s “Push It” — and a very cheeky three-toed sloth.
8. Amazon Alexa – “Mind Reader.” I agree with the ad – if Alexa is going to anticipate my thoughts the way it did in this ad, I’m getting rid of my unit!
9. Lays – “Golden Memories.” Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen are real-life friends, and their chemistry helps sell this very funny Lays spot.
10. FTX – “Don’t Miss Out.” Larry David’s deadpan skepticism makes the perfect comparison between past “failures” (like the wheel and space travel) and the next thing he says will fail — cryptocurrency.
Honorable mention: E-Trade, “Off the Grid.” BMW, “Zeus & Hera.” Verizon, “Goodbye Cable.” Greenlight, “I’ll Take It.” Sam’s Club, “Sam’s Club VIP.” General Motors, “Dr. EV-il.” T-Mobile, “Hint.” Hellmann’s, “Tackles Food Waste.” Squarespace, “Sally’s Seashells.” Pringles, “Stuck In.”
Now for the bottom nine:
9. Universal – “Nope.” Movie ads are almost always forgettable. One that’s named “Nope” is just asking for trouble.
8. Bud Light NEXT – “Zero In the Way of Possibility.” There was zero way that this ad was going to succeed on the Super Bowl stage.
7. Gillette – “Gillette Labs With Exfoliating Bar.” Traditional razor ads were always boring. Nothing has changed.
6. Chevrolet – “New Generation.” A car drives through a city and recharges. Scintillating stuff. (Note: I get now that this is an overt nod to “The Sopranos.” But if you didn’t watch that show — and I didn’t — you missed that point completely.)
5. Cutwater Spirits – “Here’s to the Lazy Ones.” Great idea, Cutwater. Insult the customers you want to buy your swill.
4. Polestar – “No Compromises.” Be honest — did you even know there was a car called Polestar before this ad ran? I’m still doubtful it exists.
3. WeatherTech – “WeatherTech Fit Crew.” God bless WeatherTech for continuing to advertise in the big game. Despite a losing Ad Meter formula, they must be selling a lot of floor mats.
2. Wallbox – “Supercharged Seth.” The full-length version of this ad isn’t bad, but the 15-second Super Bowl version had nothing that generated any interest.
1. Coinbase – “Coinbase Big Game ad.” Even the name for the ad was a bummer. A QR code that bops around for 60 seconds has to be the worst ad I’ve ever seen. And yet it generated so many hits on the Coinbase site that it crashed. The trick is, how many of those QR scans will result in any crypto investment. Hits or no hits, it was still a terrible ad.
Dis-honorable mention: crypto.com, “The Moment of Truth.” AMC+, “Stream Better With AMC+.” Irish Spring, “Welcome to Irish Spring.” New Republic, “Ambulance.” Michelob Ultra Organic Seltzer, “Caddy.” Carvana, “Oversharing Mom.”
Here is the full ranking of all of this year’s 65 ads:
| Rank | Advertisement | Score | Grade | Ad Meter |
| 1 | NFL – Bring Down the House | 128 | A+ | 10 |
| 2 | Rocket Mortgage – “Dream House” | 123 | A+ | 10 |
| 3 | Disney+ – “Has All the GOATS” | 120 | A+ | 10 |
| 4 | Nissan – Thrill Driver | 116 | A+ | 10 |
| 5 | Toyota – The Joneses | 116 | A+ | 10 |
| 6 | Planet Fitness – What’s Happened to Lindsay | 116 | A+ | 10 |
| 7 | Doritos/ Cheetos Flamin’ Hot – Push It | 115 | A+ | 10 |
| 8 | Amazon – Mind Reader | 115 | A+ | 10 |
| 9 | Lays – Golden Memories | 114 | A+ | 10 |
| 10 | FTX – Don’t Miss Out | 113 | A+ | 10 |
| 11 | E-Trade – Off the Grid | 112 | A+ | 10 |
| 12 | BMW – Zeus & Hera | 111 | A+ | 10 |
| 13 | Verizon – Goodbye Cable | 109 | A+ | 9 |
| 14 | Greenlight – I’ll Take It | 109 | A+ | 9 |
| 15 | Sam’s Club – Sam’s Club VIP | 108 | A+ | 9 |
| 16 | General Motors – Dr. EV-il | 108 | A+ | 9 |
| 17 | T-Mobile – Hint | 108 | A+ | 9 |
| 18 | Hellmann’s – Tackles Food Waste | 106 | A+ | 9 |
| 19 | Squarespace – Sally’s Seashells | 106 | A+ | 9 |
| 20 | Pringles – Stuck In | 105 | A+ | 9 |
| 21 | Kia – RoboDog | 104 | A+ | 8 |
| 22 | T-Mobile – Miley Do It For the Phones | 103 | A+ | 8 |
| 23 | Meta for Meta Quest – Old Friends, New Fun | 101 | A+ | 8 |
| 24 | Amazon Prime Video – The Rings of Power | 99 | A | 8 |
| 25 | Intuit – Duality Duets | 99 | A | 8 |
| 26 | Hologic – Her Health Is Her Wealth | 99 | A | 8 |
| 27 | Turkish Airlines – Pangea | 98 | A | 8 |
| 28 | Taco Bell – The Grande Escape | 98 | A | 8 |
| 29 | TurboTax – Matchmaker | 98 | A | 8 |
| 30 | Michelob Ultra – Superior Bowl | 98 | A | 8 |
| 31 | Booking.com – Idris Elba Says Things | 96 | A | 7 |
| 32 | Toyota – Brothers | 95 | A | 7 |
| 33 | Amazon Prime Video – Football Is Open | 95 | A | 7 |
| 34 | Avacados From Mexico – Colosseum Tailgate | 95 | A | 7 |
| 35 | Vroom – Flake the Musical | 94 | A | 7 |
| 36 | Bud Light Seltzer Hard Soda – Loud Flavors | 94 | A | 7 |
| 37 | Google – Seen on Pixel | 93 | A- | 7 |
| 38 | Expedia – Stuff | 92 | A- | 7 |
| 39 | Netflix – Trailer: The Adam Project | 91 | A- | 6 |
| 40 | Uber Eats – Uber Don’t Eats | 91 | A- | 6 |
| 41 | T-Mobile – Dolly PSA | 91 | A- | 6 |
| 42 | HBOMax – Winning Time | 90 | A- | 6 |
| 43 | Salesforce – The New Frontier | 90 | A- | 6 |
| 44 | Cuehealth – Meet Cue | 90 | A- | 6 |
| 45 | Caesar’s Sportbooks – Sit Down Dinner | 89 | B+ | 6 |
| 46 | Disney+ – Moonknight | 89 | B+ | 6 |
| 47 | Budweiser – Clydesdale’s Journey | 88 | B+ | 6 |
| 48 | Draft Kings – Fortune: Life’s a Gamble | 88 | B+ | 6 |
| 49 | Rakuten – High Stakes | 88 | B+ | 6 |
| 50 | eToro – Flying Your Way | 86 | B | 6 |
| 51 | Carvana – Oversharing Mom | 85 | B | 5 |
| 52 | Michelob Ultra Organic Seltzer – Caddy | 85 | B | 5 |
| 53 | New Republic – Ambulance | 85 | B | 5 |
| 54 | Irish Spring – Welcome to Irish Spring | 85 | B | 5 |
| 55 | AMC+ – Stream Better With AMC+ | 83 | B- | 5 |
| 56 | crypto.com – The Moment of Truth | 81 | B- | 5 |
| 57 | Universal – Nope | 79 | C+ | 5 |
| 58 | Bud Light NEXT – Zero in the Way of Possibility | 78 | C+ | 5 |
| 59 | Gilette – Gillette Labs With Exfoliating Bar | 78 | C+ | 5 |
| 60 | Chevrolet – New Generation | 78 | C+ | 5 |
| 61 | Cutwater Spirits – Here’s to the Lazy Ones | 77 | C | 4 |
| 62 | Polestar – No Compromises | 76 | C | 4 |
| 63 | WeatherTech – WeatherTech Fit Crew | 73 | C- | 4 |
| 64 | Wallbox – Supercharged Seth | 64 | D | 2 |
| 65 | Coinbase – Coinbase Big Game ad | 58 | F | 2 |