Daily writing prompt

What are the biggest mistakes people make when visiting your country?

View all responses

This question assumes I am some kind of international travel expert, which is unfortunate because my international travel experience is mostly limited to looking at pictures of places other people have visited and thinking, “That looks nice, but how long is the flight?”

I have not backpacked across Europe. I have not ridden a camel through Morocco. I have not eaten street food in Thailand while casually discussing exchange rates with a man named Lars. So when someone asks, “What are the biggest mistakes people make when visiting your country?” my first response is: How would I know? Do I look like the Jacksonville branch office of the United Nations?

But after thinking about it, I do have one answer. The biggest mistake people can make when visiting another country is being a bad guest. That’s it. That’s the rule. That’s the travel guide, the pamphlet, the TED Talk, and the laminated card that should be handed out at customs.

Don’t be a bad guest.

If I ever get to visit France, I want to enjoy France. I want to eat the bread, drink the coffee, see the sights, butcher the language, apologize sincerely for butchering the language, and leave the country without anyone saying, “Well, there goes another loud American who thinks Paris is just Epcot with better architecture.”

I don’t want to reflect poorly on the United States. Granted, the United States gives the rest of the world plenty to work with even when I’m not involved, but I don’t need to make things worse. I would hope people from other countries feel the same way when they visit here. And honestly, I think most of them do. Most travelers are just trying to enjoy themselves, see something new, take some pictures, eat too much, and figure out why our public restroom stalls have enormous gaps around the doors.

Which is fair. We don’t have a good answer for that.

But every now and then, you run into travelers who seem determined to turn their entire homeland into a warning label.

Years ago, when I was a busboy at a restaurant in Fort Walton Beach, we had regular tourists from a certain Canadian province. I will not name the province because I am classy that way. Also, I do not want to be banned from Canada, because I still hope one day to eat poutine in its natural habitat.

But these visitors developed a reputation. Not for being friendly. Not for being generous. Not for saying, “Thank you, young man,” while leaving behind a reasonable tip and a fond memory. No, they developed a reputation for cleaning out the table.

And I do not mean they ate all the food. I mean they cleaned out the table.

Cracker baskets? Gone. Salt and pepper shakers? Gone. If there had been a small decorative plant, it probably would have needed witness protection.

Two couples would come in, order four specials, eat everything that wasn’t bolted down, pocket a few things that should have been bolted down, and leave a dollar tip. Not each. Total. One dollar. Four adults. Four meals. One dollar. Even in the olden days, when gasoline cost less than a minor medical procedure and a dollar still had some dignity, that was not a tip. That was a hostage note.

Eventually, it became such a pattern that when we saw it happen, someone on the staff would walk out to the parking lot to check the license plate. And sure enough, there it was. The same offending province. Every time.

Again, I am not naming it. But they know who they are.

Now, to be clear, I do not believe everyone from that province steals cracker baskets and mistreats restaurant staff. That would be unfair. Every place has wonderful people, terrible people, and people who seem normal until they see unattended condiments. But that’s the problem. When you travel, you represent more than yourself whether you like it or not.

That may not be fair, but it’s true. If you are rude in another country, people may not say, “That one person was rude.” They may say, “People from that place are rude.” If you are loud, entitled, cheap, dismissive, messy, demanding, insulting, or inclined to leave a restaurant with more inventory than you brought in, you are not just embarrassing yourself. You are exporting bad manners.

And nobody wants that trade deficit.

So maybe the biggest mistake people make when visiting the United States is the same mistake Americans can make when visiting anywhere else. They forget they are guests. They forget that the people serving them are actual human beings. They forget that “different” does not mean “wrong.” They forget that customs, food, accents, prices, tipping expectations, driving habits, personal space, restaurant portions, and the shocking size of American soft drinks are all part of the experience.

They forget to be curious. They forget to be gracious. They forget to leave the salt shaker where it belongs.

And really, that may be the best travel advice I can offer. Wherever you go, be a good guest. Ask questions. Say thank you. Tip appropriately. Don’t mock what you don’t understand. Don’t act like the locals are background characters in your vacation movie. Don’t assume every place should operate exactly like the place you came from.

And for heaven’s sake, do not steal the cracker basket.

Your country is counting on you.