This is the fifth of 25 special reflections based on lessons I learned from my mother. These will run from my birthday on October 27 until her birthday on November 20.
Read
Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
Reflect
Before I was born, Mom was a high school music teacher. She was also “Miss Judy” on the Odessa, Texas, version of “Romper Room,” the syndicated children’s show with the “Do Bee” song and the Magic Mirror. She loved teaching children and might have been at her best when she was teaching them to sing or play piano.
Miss Judy on the set of the Odessa, Texas, Romper Room with Jeff in 1965.
That’s what made her such a good teacher to her own children. All of us learned to read very early. For me, it was at the age of three, and I was reading short books by the time I went into first grade. I was probably gifted, but honestly, I can’t take a lot of credit for any of my academic abilities. So much of what I learned began with Mom. The only thing she wasn’t able to teach me was how to play piano, and that’s because I was so stubborn and basically refused to practice.
But the most important things I learned from Mom were honor, decency, goodness, kindness, generosity and love. She didn’t just teach those qualities; she demonstrated them every day. And she taught me how to sing, which I appreciate every day because my heart soars when I lift my voice in praise to the Lord, just as she did. She’s been gone for nearly 19 years, but that lesson is still alive every time I sing.
Solomon admonished us to “train up a child in the way he should go,” and that’s not just discipline. That training or teaching extends to all of the abilities and qualities you want your child to embody as he or she matures and grows. If you want a responsible adult, train up a responsible child. If you want an industrious adult, train up an industrious child. If you want a godly adult, train up a godly child. And remember that children learn as much from what we do as from what we tell them to do.
By the same token, if you want a disrespectful, lazy, defiant, selfish adult, train up a disrespectful, lazy, defiant, selfish child. Of course, people will say that no one deliberately trains such a person, but I disagree. Failing to teach a virtue can be just as consequential as deliberately teaching a vice. If you don’t teach respect, you shouldn’t be surprised when you encounter disrespect. If you don’t teach hard work, you shouldn’t be surprised when laziness takes hold. If you don’t teach obedience, defiance may take its place. And if you don’t teach generosity, selfishness can easily fill the void. Those qualities don’t suddenly appear when people turn 21. Often, their roots go back to childhood, when important lessons were either taught or neglected.
Of course, none of this guarantees how a child will turn out. Children eventually make their own choices, and even the best parents can’t make those choices for them. But that doesn’t diminish the importance of giving them a foundation on which to build their lives.
If you have children (or grandchildren), make a plan to be your child’s (or grandchild’s) first teacher. Make a plan to teach them all of the qualities you cherish, and let them see those qualities in the way you live. As Solomon reminds us, the lessons we teach our children can remain with them even when they’re old and gray. I know that’s true because, at 60, I’m still living by lessons my mother taught me when I was a little boy.
Reflection copyright © 2026 Doug DeBolt.
