Do I believe in soulmates?
I think I do.
I’m not sure I believe in the fairy-tale version, where there is exactly one person on earth who has been perfectly designed for you, and if you miss that person at a coffee shop one Tuesday afternoon, your entire life is ruined.
That seems like a lot of pressure to put on a latte.
But I do believe there are people who fit together in ways that feel too specific to be random. I believe there are people whose lives, stories, scars, hopes, fears, likes, dislikes, families, backgrounds, and odd little habits line up in such a surprising way that you almost have to stop and ask, “What exactly is going on here?”
That is what happened with Daryl and me.
When we reconnected and started talking, we kept discovering things we had in common. Not just one or two things. Not just the usual “we both like music” or “we both enjoy eating food and breathing oxygen” kinds of things. Real things. Family things. Background things. Personality things. Likes and dislikes. Shared ways of seeing the world. Little details that kept surprising us.
At one point, early on, Daryl wondered aloud if maybe I would get tired of her. Maybe I wouldn’t want her around anymore. Maybe this wouldn’t work out.
I told her, “Where else would I find someone I had a billion things in common with?”
Then she mentioned something else.
And that was in common too.
So I said, “A billion plus one.”
A few days later, there were more. A billion plus two. A billion plus three. Eventually, we shortened it to “B plus.” Then came B plus 10, B plus 11, and on and on it went.
We started counting them.
We are up to 411.
Four hundred and eleven things we have in common.
Now, to be fair, there are things we do not have in common. Of course there are. We are two different people with two different histories, two different temperaments, two different sets of experiences, and sometimes two very different ways of approaching life.
But the common ground is staggering.
And somewhere along the way, I started to believe that maybe “soulmate” is not just a romantic word people use when they are trying to make love sound more poetic than it really is. Maybe a soulmate is not someone who matches you in every possible way. Maybe it is someone whose life seems to echo yours in ways you could not have planned.
Maybe it is someone who makes you feel recognized.
Maybe it is someone whose story somehow rhymes with your own.
Maybe it is someone who makes you think, “Where else would I ever find this?”
That is what Daryl has been for me.
Not perfect. Not effortless. Not some magic exemption from the normal struggles of love and marriage and life. We still have to choose each other. We still have to be patient. We still have to forgive. We still have to do the ordinary work that love requires.
But underneath all of that is this sense that we were not just two random people who happened to stumble into each other’s lives.
It feels deeper than that.
It feels like we were made for each other.
I know that is a bold thing to say. I know it can sound sentimental. I know the practical part of me is supposed to roll its eyes at a phrase like that.
But I also know what it felt like to find someone with a billion things in common.
And then a billion plus one.
And then B plus 411.
So yes, I think I believe in soulmates.
Not because every day feels like a movie.
Not because love is always easy.
Not because Daryl and I are exactly alike.
I believe in soulmates because sometimes someone comes into your life and the connections are so many, so specific, and so deeply felt that coincidence no longer feels like a big enough word.
Maybe that is what a soulmate is.
Not someone who has everything in common with you.
Someone who makes you believe you were meant to find each other.
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Copyright © 2026 Doug DeBolt.
