Probably not often enough.
Where this catches me most is in volunteering for things. I have never been especially comfortable watching the ball hit the ground. If something needs to be done and no one steps forward, I usually feel the pull to pick it up rather than let it sit there unattended. That sounds noble until you realize it is also how a person ends up serving on more committees than he ever intended.
Sometimes saying yes comes from responsibility. Sometimes it comes from not wanting something important to fail simply because no one else moved.
But saying no is not just a challenge in public life. It shows up in private life too.
There are plenty of small choices that compete with larger goals — and those are often harder to manage because they do not look serious in the moment. Watching one more show, playing a game a little longer, putting off cleaning, organizing, or even sleep because something enjoyable feels easier right now than what probably ought to be done.
Most interference does not arrive looking dangerous. It usually looks harmless, even deserved.
The truth is that every yes costs something, even when the thing itself is good. Time, energy, focus, rest — all of it gets spent somewhere.
I probably do not say no often enough, but life has taught me that if you are not careful, even good intentions can quietly crowd out the things that matter most.
Most ‘NO’ s that I say are when I’m not ready to consider. i.e. I’m not ready for it. I dislike being pushed, or when people try to get ahead of me in a proposition.
That’s probably a good thing. I’ve learned that most of the time, when people are pushing, what’s being pushed is a bad thing, i.e. time shares and sudden business arrangements. No time to think = mistakes.