I want to learn from the past. That part matters.

But dwelling on past hurts can become toxic if we never heal from them. Too often, we get trapped in a feedback loop — replaying old wounds, rehearsing better comebacks, rewriting scenes that are already finished. Thinking endlessly about them won’t change what happened, and it won’t make us feel any better about the outcome.

The future has its own trap.

There’s nothing wrong with goals. In fact, they’re necessary. But when goal-setting turns into fantasizing — when we spend more time imagining success than working toward it — the future becomes just as paralyzing as the past. Time passes, energy gets spent, and nothing actually moves forward.

I’ve been guilty of both.

I’ve been screwed over by people and replayed the moment over and over, imagining how I wish I’d handled it. But when I came back to the present, I was still screwed over. Nothing had changed — except the time I’d wasted reliving the hurt.

I’ve also daydreamed about success. About being famous. About being a best-selling author, sitting in an interview, talking about my most recent triumph. And when I snapped back to reality, I hadn’t written a word.

No pages. No progress. Just imagination.

A lot of living in those spaces — backward and forward — feels a bit like Walter Mitty, revving up the engine without ever leaving the driveway.
Ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa.

These days, I try to live more by the wisdom of Kung Fu Panda:

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”

The Bible doesn’t say it quite that way, but the message is unmistakable:

• “…do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.” (Matthew 6:34)
• “…one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal…” (Philippians 3:13–14)
• “…you do not know what tomorrow will bring… you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” (James 4:14)

So do I spend more time thinking backward or forward?

Probably forward — that’s where goals live.

But ultimately, I’m trying to live here.

In the present.
Where learning turns into action.
Where dreams turn into discipline.
Where healing actually happens.

The present really is a gift — and I don’t want to keep setting it aside while I stare at places I can’t live anymore.

Copyright © 2026 Doug DeBolt.