Do I ever see wild animals?
Oh, absolutely.
Just not the kind WordPress had in mind.
Most of the “wild animals” I see are the human variety — the ones who roam freely through Jacksonville with no natural predators and absolutely no regard for lane markers.
Take last week on I-95. I’m driving along at a perfectly reasonable pace when a guy comes barreling in hot, changes lanes at a 45-degree angle (at least he was using geometry?), nearly slices off my front bumper, then clips the car beside me like it was all part of his migration pattern. Florida Driver in the Wild: rarely graceful, often loud, and always convinced they’re late for something important.
Then there’s the super-aggressive panhandler I met at the gas station a few days ago. Most folks who ask for change do it softly, almost apologetically. Not this guy. He approached with the subtlety of a marching band, projecting his request across the parking lot with enough volume to reach the moon. I didn’t have spare change, but honestly, I didn’t need to — everyone within a 50-yard radius heard him loud and clear.
And of course, there are the students at my school. Not typically the ones in my classroom, mind you, but the 6th- and 7th-graders. They are beautiful, chaotic beings who lack any sense of physical proximity or volume control. Many seem genuinely unaware that:
- Whispering is possible,
- Not every thought must be announced to the tri-state area, and
- A “conversation” does not require shouting louder than jet engines trying to communicate across the tarmac.
If you want to understand lunchtime in a middle school, imagine 200 elephants in one room, each trying to out-trumpet the others. It’s less “meal break,” more “National Geographic: Decibel Edition.”
Oh — actual wild animals?
No, not really. I’d have to go into actual wilderness for that. You know, where it’s quiet.
And honestly… that sounds kind of wonderful.
Copyright © 2025 Doug DeBolt.
