This is the 15th of 25 special reflections based on lessons I learned from my mother. These will run from my birthday on October 27 until her birthday on November 20.
Read
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.
Ephesians 4:26-27
Reflect
A lot of what Mom taught us was just common sense – at least to her kids. But when you look around society, you realize that common sense isn’t so common.
After growing up seeing my Mom and Dad argue with each other – and stay mad – I had a culture shock when Mom married my stepfather. He was a minister, but I now realize that really doesn’t mean a lot. That is to say, a lot of ministers are great at shepherding their flocks, but less great when it comes to shepherding their homes. My stepdad was pretty good about applying the Bible to our home life, so he insisted on Ephesians 4:26-27 in his marriage to my mother:
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.
I cannot recall a time during their 33-year marriage when it seemed like a disagreement between the two of them carried over into a second day. And they ensured that we kids settled all of our differences with each other in a similar manner. As a result, I’m terrible when it comes to staying angry. Strife makes me miserable and I simply can’t function until I get things resolved.
As I’ve said before, my wife is fond of saying that much of the Bible is preventative medicine, so to speak. If we practice what it says, it tends to lead to happier, healthier and more peaceful lives. And that absolutely goes for this passage. Anger that is allowed to fester overnight does not tend to subside with the passing hours. Instead, you usually wake up at least as angry as before and often even angrier.
Picture a splinter that burrows under the skin and is left to resolve itself. Maybe it will eventually work its way out, but along the way, it will cause an infection and could develop into something even worse. The same is true with our disagreements. Left unresolved, something rather simple could develop into a raging relationship infection that does lasting damage.
When it comes to resolving disagreements, put Ephesians 4 into practice. You might not get everything fixed in a day, but you need to make sure to at least put out the fires of your anger before your head hits the pillow. Let the Lord guide you both in love – it’s always a great place to start with both parties are operating within His care and striving for God’s best.
Reflection copyright © 2025 Doug DeBolt.
