I was watching The Perfect Neighbor on Netflix tonight—a story that shook me to my core. My daughter once told me she remembered how often I talked about the amygdala—and how unchecked emotions can lead to harm. She said I used to harp on it, probably too much. But as I watched this film, all I could think about was how right those conversations were.
In the documentary, a woman named Susan Lorincz allowed her emotions to run wild. Children played in a large open space near her house, and their laughter and noise irritated her. Instead of finding peace or perspective, she let that irritation grow into rage. That rage led to incessant 911 calls. It led to her picking up a gun and firing through a door—killing a mother of four, Ajike “AJ” Owens.
The moment that undid me came when one of the children said to the police, “My heart is broken.” I sat there sobbing. My heart was broken, too.
When Feelings Dictate Actions
All I could see in Susan Lorincz was someone whose emotions dictated her life. They dictated her anger, her paranoia, her violence, and even her defiance when deputies came to arrest her. Emotions should be informers, not dictators. But too often, we let them steer our choices as though they alone are the truth.
When that happens, we stop seeing people as people. We start labeling, dividing, diminishing. In her case, Lorincz reduced others to racial categories, allowing hatred to justify cruelty. It’s horrifying, but it’s not rare. We see versions of it every day—in our neighborhoods, our schools, our politics, our social media feeds.
The Richness of Difference
I didn’t grow up around much diversity. That came later—when I started teaching. Since then, my world has grown so much richer through the people I’ve met. Different cultures. Different faiths. Different ways of seeing the world. Different skin tones.
And yet, all of them were created by the same God. He made them intentionally, loves them completely, and desires that they know and love Him, too. How could I ever justify treating any of them as less? To hate what God has made—or to let my emotions diminish them—would only distance me from both them and Him.
Love Instead of Hatred
That little boy who lost his mother could have been anyone’s child. He looks different from me, but he bleeds the same, hurts the same, and loves the same. If Susan Lorincz had chosen love instead of hate—if she had bought candy for those children instead of cursing their laughter—this story could have ended so differently.
It’s not really about “Stand Your Ground” laws or politics. It’s about what happens when we stop letting love guide us. When we choose to let anger, fear, and prejudice become our moral compass, tragedy is inevitable.
A Different Kind of Neighbor
What if we all decided to be better neighbors? To see our differences not as divisions but as opportunities to add depth and richness to the world? What if we allowed love to inform our actions instead of letting emotions dictate them?
That’s what our world needs most right now—less fury, more grace. Less labeling, more listening. Less hate, more love. Because in the end, love doesn’t just change hearts. It saves them.
Copyright © 2025 Doug DeBolt.
