Negative feelings are a little like unexpected houseguests. Some show up quietly, sit in the corner, and leave before dinner. Others bang on the front door, drag luggage inside, and act like they’ve signed a lease.
I’ve learned over the years that pretending they aren’t there rarely works. Irritation ignored usually becomes sharper irritation. Worry ignored becomes imagination with bad intentions. And frustration, if left alone too long, starts writing speeches I have no business delivering out loud.
So one strategy I use is simple: delay reaction. If something annoys me, I’ve learned that the immediate response I’m most tempted to give is often the one that deserves the most editing. Time has rescued me from many unnecessary words.
Prayer helps too. Not because every prayer instantly fixes a mood, but because it reminds me that not every feeling deserves authority. Sometimes the act of handing something over to God shrinks it enough that I can see it more clearly.
Writing helps for much the same reason. Thoughts can feel enormous in your head until you put them on paper, where suddenly they look a little less intimidating—sometimes even slightly ridiculous.
Humor matters too. A lot of things lose power once you can laugh at them, especially if you realize that what upset you today may barely deserve a sentence by next week.
And yes, sometimes sitting down at the end of the day with a good glass of bourbon can help a person relax. But there’s a difference between relaxing and recruiting. One glass may soften the edges; too much can hand negative feelings a microphone and let them give a full speech. That rarely ends well.
Mostly, experience helps. I’ve lived long enough to know that many things that feel enormous in the moment turn out to be temporary visitors.
Some feelings knock loudly.
I just try not to hand them a key.
Copyright © 2026 Doug DeBolt.
