This is the 13th of 25 special reflections based on lessons I learned from my mother. These will run from my birthday on October 27 until her birthday on November 20.
Read
…give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Reflect
Saying “thank you” is a dying art. As a teacher, one of the first things I instill in my students is saying “thank you” when I or one of their fellow students does something nice for them. Being gracious goes a long way, even when the other person doesn’t expect any thanks in return. It’s more about our attitude of gratitude than it is about what the other person expects or receives in return for their kind action.
Mom was acutely aware of this principle. We were trained from an early age to write thank you cards for gifts. But the greatest lesson about saying “thank you” had nothing to do with a gift, but instead with a compliment.
It’s sometimes hard to hear people tell us that we did something well. Often, it feels like we’re bragging if we accept what they have to say about our talents, so we say something like, “It was nothing,” or “I really didn’t do that well.” That was my case one day after church. I had sung a solo, and a couple came up to tell me how much they enjoyed my singing. I think the lady said, “You were so wonderful. You sounded just like Neil Diamond!”
It might have been that I received that as something other than a compliment, in part because sounding like Neil Diamond was never one of my goals. But I said something like, “That wasn’t my best,” or “I actually made a mistake.” They smiled and walked away, and Mom came over and said, “Whenever someone pays you a compliment, the correct response is always, ‘Thank you.'” She went on to say that when I don’t receive the compliment, it’s actually showing ingratitude to the person offering it. Saying “thank you” simply receives their kind words and shows that we appreciate those words, even if we don’t completely agree with what is being said.
Gratitude is absolutely a godly characteristic. Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians to give thanks in all circumstances. We see gratitude commanded by the Lord in Psalms, Colossians, Ephesians, Hebrews and other books of the Bible. God wants us to remember that everything good comes from outside of us, and the best way for us to acknowledge that is to thank Him for His provision. And the best way for us to stay in the habit of showing thanks and gratitude is to offer it to those who show us kindness, whether it’s a gift, a helping hand or a kind word.
Don’t get out of the habit of thanking those around you for their kindness. It may be going out of fashion in the “modern world,” but it’s never out of fashion with the Lord.
Reflection copyright © 2025 Doug DeBolt.
